Countdown to March 19th

I go in for arthroscopic shoulder surgery on March 19th. I was nervous, now I've just accepted it for what it is. There was the fear that even with the surgery, there's a very real possibility I may not ever be able to lift again, let alone do push-ups. But, I then realized that it doesn't change anything currently. I'm not lifting above my head right now, and if surgery can't remedy that, it's not making a huge difference in my life than what I've been dealing with since September. Slightly pessimistic I know, but if they can make it so I can reach my seatbelt instead of flinging my entire body towards the door to reach it, that's a plus. If it helps me put dishes away and reach clothes on the top shelf of my closet without it feeling like my shoulder's going to pop out and not make the awesome crunchy sounds it does right now, that's a lot better than I'm doing now.

However...I'm going to do my best to prove the overly cautious doctor wrong. Step 1: regain full mobility. Step 2: regain strength. Step 3: do a friggin push-up. Step 4: swing a damn bell. Just as I've posted on Facebook today, there are 2 types of people. I can't worry about the what-ifs, should-haves, etc. My shoulder is what it is. Obviously doing PT for the next year will be a change. My workouts will be completely different, as they already are. But, I can't let these changes run my life or change my goals. It will merely keep me from reaching them sooner.

Yesterday's mail contained my fancy packet of information regarding surgery. I go in Thursday, March 19th. I am expected to start physical therapy 2-3 days post-op. I know it's going to be a struggle, and painful, and great, and the hardest thing I've ever done. As the doctor said, this is a life changing surgery. I just hope it makes me a better person, athlete and coach. Not the 29, almost 30 year old who has accepted a life without push-ups, pressing anything overhead or lifting a kettlebell.

As for the surgery, seems pretty straight forward. Trim torn piece labrum, insert anchors to use sutures to reattach labrum. Makes me a little queasy thinking about them drilling anchors into my bone, but hopefully it works. And works well. It's got some work to do afterwards.

Some images for you.

Surgical folder. Everything I need. Phone numbers, addresses, instructions, etc.

Step by step diagrams of the repair itself. Photos from MMG, LLC.

This will leave me a bit more time to update this, so I will be writing more than I have been. We'll see how this goes.

Shoulder

I wanted to leave this off the gym blog so I'm not taking up a huge space on there.

***Disclaimer: in no way is my shoulder issue a direct result of lifting heavy.***

I'm sure most know my shoulder has been the bane of my existence since May of last year. I should have gotten it looked at sooner, but deep down I knew something was wrong and didn't want to start a course of treatment when I also knew I'd be changing jobs. So, like a typical sane person, I still trained to compete at Nationals for the AKA in August of last year. I had Mark help keep me patched up until I got insurance at the new job. Right after Nationals, I took two weeks off, tried to lift again, and had to stop because the bad days were out numbering the good.

Fast forward to October. New insurance, and I went directly to OrthoCarolina. X-rays showed tiny bone spurs and the doctor diagnosed me with frozen shoulder, but obviously no soft tissue damage was seen because it's an X-ray. They gave me a cortisone shot to help free up the "frozen" shoulder. Which really did free up my shoulder since it was very stiff to protect the real injury. I went back to PT with Mark for 6 weeks. The first 4 weeks saw great progress, and I felt amazing. I wish I could have felt like that every day! I was pain free, had great range of motion, and I was so excited that a kettlebell was waiting for me right around the corner. Then week 5 barely had any progress, and week 6 was back to pain. Because apparently rowing causes me severe pain. Mark did some range of motion tests that last week, which put me in tears both because they hurt and because I knew what was going to happen next. Except I wasn't fully prepared for the findings. Back to OrthoCarolina where they determined I had earned my way to an MRI. If you could have seen me roll my eyes.

MRI came back, and the original doctor I saw gave me a wishy-washy explanation. So I went back for a second opinion, and this guy didn't sugar coat shit. Which is what I needed. I wasn't at a specialist for a list of what I could possibly do about my shoulder, I was there for answers.

Official diagnosis. I have glenoid dysplasia, a torn labrum (soft tissue that deepens the socket and suctions your arm to your shoulder), bone spurs and the start of arthritis (they put me at a 3 on a scale of 10 for arthritis). The glenoid dysplasia was a result of....can you guess? Not from lifting, but how I developed and grew. My shoulder socket is flatter than it should be, causing the head of my humerus to sit back farther than normal, creating more stress at the back of the shoulder until it literally can't take it and tears (I even have images down below). The arthritis is from the same thing. The bone spurs are a result of my "arthritis". All connected.

Normal shoulder. The shoulder looks like a golf ball and tee. Nice and round, sits really nicely. The labrum (white semi-circle) is all even, no little fragments hanging off. (Photo credit to owner)

My shoulder. My socket is pretty flat, almost round. The humerus doesn't fit in at all. The labrum is all out of way and uneven. And the black arrow at the bottom under the "tee" shows a little white sliver directly to the right of the bone - that would be my tear.

Glenoid dysplasia from great to not great. So as far as I can tell, I'm somewhere between mild and moderate. On the images I've seen of the severe cases, it looks like half the bone is missing, so I know I'm not that bad off. (Photo credit to owner)

This is a severe case (photo credit to owner);

What does all this mean? No PT or OT will help. This is purely a surgical case. I was also told, even post-surgery, to never do "pressing" movements again. No push-ups, no shoulder press, no chests press. Not even overhead work - no pull-ups or chin-ups. And that regardless of whether or not I continue or stop working out after I get it fixed, I'd eventually need a shoulder replacement. They even said no matter what activity I had chosen, it would have torn at some point - the only way it would have never torn is if I had never worked out. Obviously, this was distressing to hear. Then Doug and I got to thinking. There has to be way to overcome this workout death sentence.

To the internet. There is very little information when it comes to recovery from surgery for labrum tears due to glenoid dysplasia. But, I have found articles where rugby players and wrestlers have made full recoveries and went back to playing their respective sports. So, I have hope I can one day lift overhead again. Will ever be able to really heavy? Probably not. Will I ever be able to do jerks again? I'm not sure. BUT, a kettlebell snatch is an extension of the swing, not a pressing motion. I'm holding out a cautious optimism that I can snatch again, even if I have to max out at the 16kg.

I have an email out to what I've found to be the best spots specific rehab and PT place in Charlotte to see if they can help me after surgery. After that, I get to make the call I dread. To OrthoCarolina to schedule my shoulder surgery.

So, here's some images to remind of where I was, what I can do with a stupid shoulder and pretty severe injury, and where I hope to get again. And hopefully to inspire you that you can do anything, even if it fucking hurts like hell.

Here's to hoping I'll see you all again on the platform in 2 years!